let's start with my influences. almost every person and every character that i admire smokes. natalie portman smokes. julie delpy smokes. rachel greene smokes. lolita smokes.
i don't have to love it, but since i've deflated my ego for less important things that aren't even worth mentioning, i might as well make an exception for one harmless cigarette. (that was my first deliberate deception to myself)
my first reactions -- my heart beats wildly. and i need a respirator. in between coughs, i asked my friends (from work) who i amused greatly with my struggles, am i supposed to inhale it all in before releasing? and i thought, "it's supposed to attack your lungs! so yes, breathe it in." and i did. and i coughed again.
the packet says strawberry flavor. good. this will help me like it.
well did i? was it a pleasant experience? i honestly cannot tell you. all i know is that i was in desperate need for mints. weird, but i felt claustrophobic.
i, however, asked if i could take the rest home.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
9 reasons why break-ups are a good riddance
(based on real-life comedies and situations of female friends and mine)
1. nobody complains about too much pink, or too much ribbons, and too much lace. and our bedroom space becomes 100% ours.
2. so does our salary.
3. we can do our midnight sale shopping in peace.
4. we can avoid the steak and order salad, and nobody disagrees about the importance of dieting.
5. less unnecessary celebrations such as "monthsaries" and blockbuster birthdays.
6. dating and occasional flirting is a healthy hobby.
7. no morning litanies of the bed not being made or the dishes not being washed.
8. we can all live without the male biological need for guilty sex talk.
9. and most importantly, no playstation!!!!
1. nobody complains about too much pink, or too much ribbons, and too much lace. and our bedroom space becomes 100% ours.
2. so does our salary.
3. we can do our midnight sale shopping in peace.
4. we can avoid the steak and order salad, and nobody disagrees about the importance of dieting.
5. less unnecessary celebrations such as "monthsaries" and blockbuster birthdays.
6. dating and occasional flirting is a healthy hobby.
7. no morning litanies of the bed not being made or the dishes not being washed.
8. we can all live without the male biological need for guilty sex talk.
9. and most importantly, no playstation!!!!
Monday, August 20, 2007
9 things to do before year-end
1. go to the beach. (the last time was two years ago!)
2. re-visit baguio city.
3. enroll in alliance francaise de manille. (really seriously this time, i've already paid half)
4. attend a film showing in instituto cervantes with mikael, and with mark and harry, my new indie movie friends.
5. schedule a surprise visit to lovelyn's lovely household.
6. buy imax tickets.
7. decide on the following: hsdpa connection for iLa (my ibook), spa, tommy hilfiger watch, beverly hills 6750 visit -- then get over them.
8. treat myself to an A|X jacket -- my small tribute to alessandra.
9. carry-out my special charity. details withheld. says my dad, "you don't brag about kindness."
2. re-visit baguio city.
3. enroll in alliance francaise de manille. (really seriously this time, i've already paid half)
4. attend a film showing in instituto cervantes with mikael, and with mark and harry, my new indie movie friends.
5. schedule a surprise visit to lovelyn's lovely household.
6. buy imax tickets.
7. decide on the following: hsdpa connection for iLa (my ibook), spa, tommy hilfiger watch, beverly hills 6750 visit -- then get over them.
8. treat myself to an A|X jacket -- my small tribute to alessandra.
9. carry-out my special charity. details withheld. says my dad, "you don't brag about kindness."
Friday, August 17, 2007
quentin craze
dilemma. this is already my fourth revision, and i'm still on the first sentence.
i'd like to write about my encounters (yes, plural) with writer-director extraordinaire, quentin tarantino, and i scowl at my amateur and unsatisfactory writing. this experience, as i always say, is like god coming down to earth and all the inks of the world tremble.
okay, stream-of-consciousness is my best bet. for i do not want to write this article carelessly or with upper-class airs, but with great reverence.
august 11. queued outside cinema 5 of the gateway cineplex are us cinephiles. i kind of like this assembly of mostly geek-looking, long-haired bespectacled people -- all of us eagerly (and in my case, sleeplessly) waiting for cinemanila's best gift to date -- quentin tarantino. he created kill bill, that's like saying he created my long-lost mother in beatrix kiddo's vengeful persona.
promptly at 1pm, he arrives. i am expecting him to emerge from the elevator, heavily guarded(and for my own humor, maybe with a machine gun?)au contraire, he passes rather conspicuously through the gateway food court - no panic, no screaming. jai pointed out a good irony; if it were richard gutierrez, the place would just be one bloody havoc.
full of smiles and hi's, he makes his way inside the cinema, only to come out a few minutes later to smile and say hi again. he goes towards the cinemanila office and in doing so, has to pass right through us. he shakes jai's hand and jai is numb. i am waiting for me to drop dead.
then his seminar. the rules: no video, no autographs, no photos. either you're here or you're not here. "this seminar isn't for glamour, this is for art." i cannot agree more.
okay, time for questions. one asked, "do you consider the repeatability aspect when you create your films?" answer: "yes, i am egotistical enough to admit that. and when you watch my films for the second or the third time, i hope you discover something more in them than when you first saw them."
next question. holy f$%*ing motherf%&#*!! is he pointing at me? yes, b!tch, you. take the mic and don't lose it.
i start to say, "i'm sorry i'm kind of trembling." the audience giggles. i giggle too.
proceed. "i'd like to ask about your casting process. you don't strike me as traditional...so do you have a defined method in choosing your actors.. say, do you base it on filmography, or for lack of a better term, do you rely on impression, trusting your instincts kind of thing? you said in the bonus features of reservoir dogs all tim roth had to do was to walk on that room.. no words, no lines, just walk and you immediately cast him."
answer: "no defined method. you talk to them about casual stuff, you talk to them about the movie and your vision. i never go for popularity... because the actor has to own the dialog and believe in the dialog.. because when i wrote that script, i've put every little detail in it already - the shot, my commas and periods, my if's and's and but's except one thing. i've put every single thing except their voice...and i just realized, just now, that my characters are actually more important than my movie."
maybe that's the cue for the warm-up stage. more questions, more tales, more laughs, more quotable quotes. i feel like i'm watching an opera but the notes just go on higher and higher. quentin (first name basis, huh) has an uncanny ability of saying even something so casual strike the listener as something profound.
but as all good things come to an end, so does the speech. amongst his finest of fine words my favorite is, "the beauty in art is that you're never done. there's always new joys waiting to be discovered... i don't classify myself as a master of the arts, in fact i'm a student seeking professorship in the arts, and the day i graduate is the day i die."
this article was written on paper 15 august 2007.
p.s. my other close encounters with this first-rate director include: the gala screening of death proof where he declared, "whoever said that the filipino audience is subdued doesn't know a f^$!" and the screening of kill bill 1 and 2 (my personal favorite) where he sat among the audience and laughed at his own lines. i watched volume 1 by myself and i retreated to the back of the moviehouse, avoiding distraction. he arrived shortly and he was one seat apart from me. somehow it felt casual. no phony charm. no beg-me-to-sign-and-the-more-i-will-resist. just laidback moviewatching.
looking back now, i am reminded how through the entire adventure he remained remarkably, incredibly and humbly human.
note: quotes are not verbatim and may have been paraphrased.
i'd like to write about my encounters (yes, plural) with writer-director extraordinaire, quentin tarantino, and i scowl at my amateur and unsatisfactory writing. this experience, as i always say, is like god coming down to earth and all the inks of the world tremble.
okay, stream-of-consciousness is my best bet. for i do not want to write this article carelessly or with upper-class airs, but with great reverence.
august 11. queued outside cinema 5 of the gateway cineplex are us cinephiles. i kind of like this assembly of mostly geek-looking, long-haired bespectacled people -- all of us eagerly (and in my case, sleeplessly) waiting for cinemanila's best gift to date -- quentin tarantino. he created kill bill, that's like saying he created my long-lost mother in beatrix kiddo's vengeful persona.
promptly at 1pm, he arrives. i am expecting him to emerge from the elevator, heavily guarded(and for my own humor, maybe with a machine gun?)au contraire, he passes rather conspicuously through the gateway food court - no panic, no screaming. jai pointed out a good irony; if it were richard gutierrez, the place would just be one bloody havoc.
full of smiles and hi's, he makes his way inside the cinema, only to come out a few minutes later to smile and say hi again. he goes towards the cinemanila office and in doing so, has to pass right through us. he shakes jai's hand and jai is numb. i am waiting for me to drop dead.
then his seminar. the rules: no video, no autographs, no photos. either you're here or you're not here. "this seminar isn't for glamour, this is for art." i cannot agree more.
okay, time for questions. one asked, "do you consider the repeatability aspect when you create your films?" answer: "yes, i am egotistical enough to admit that. and when you watch my films for the second or the third time, i hope you discover something more in them than when you first saw them."
next question. holy f$%*ing motherf%&#*!! is he pointing at me? yes, b!tch, you. take the mic and don't lose it.
i start to say, "i'm sorry i'm kind of trembling." the audience giggles. i giggle too.
proceed. "i'd like to ask about your casting process. you don't strike me as traditional...so do you have a defined method in choosing your actors.. say, do you base it on filmography, or for lack of a better term, do you rely on impression, trusting your instincts kind of thing? you said in the bonus features of reservoir dogs all tim roth had to do was to walk on that room.. no words, no lines, just walk and you immediately cast him."
answer: "no defined method. you talk to them about casual stuff, you talk to them about the movie and your vision. i never go for popularity... because the actor has to own the dialog and believe in the dialog.. because when i wrote that script, i've put every little detail in it already - the shot, my commas and periods, my if's and's and but's except one thing. i've put every single thing except their voice...and i just realized, just now, that my characters are actually more important than my movie."
maybe that's the cue for the warm-up stage. more questions, more tales, more laughs, more quotable quotes. i feel like i'm watching an opera but the notes just go on higher and higher. quentin (first name basis, huh) has an uncanny ability of saying even something so casual strike the listener as something profound.
but as all good things come to an end, so does the speech. amongst his finest of fine words my favorite is, "the beauty in art is that you're never done. there's always new joys waiting to be discovered... i don't classify myself as a master of the arts, in fact i'm a student seeking professorship in the arts, and the day i graduate is the day i die."
this article was written on paper 15 august 2007.
p.s. my other close encounters with this first-rate director include: the gala screening of death proof where he declared, "whoever said that the filipino audience is subdued doesn't know a f^$!" and the screening of kill bill 1 and 2 (my personal favorite) where he sat among the audience and laughed at his own lines. i watched volume 1 by myself and i retreated to the back of the moviehouse, avoiding distraction. he arrived shortly and he was one seat apart from me. somehow it felt casual. no phony charm. no beg-me-to-sign-and-the-more-i-will-resist. just laidback moviewatching.
looking back now, i am reminded how through the entire adventure he remained remarkably, incredibly and humbly human.
note: quotes are not verbatim and may have been paraphrased.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
mathematics
you are a
triple delight
above average,
and infinitely sexy.
you boast of 10 girlfriends
and you have
two black books -- one for the hearts you destroyed
the other for the whores you scorned.
your friends
are single serving
you say,
too many weeds, too many wine,
too little time.
you are accoutable
for a handful of
unborn babies.
you speak of
too many thoughtless ideas.
you are important to
no one.
you are
half-witted, half-conceited
and sixty degrees below zero
cold.
this poem was written on paper 9 august 2007.
triple delight
above average,
and infinitely sexy.
you boast of 10 girlfriends
and you have
two black books -- one for the hearts you destroyed
the other for the whores you scorned.
your friends
are single serving
you say,
too many weeds, too many wine,
too little time.
you are accoutable
for a handful of
unborn babies.
you speak of
too many thoughtless ideas.
you are important to
no one.
you are
half-witted, half-conceited
and sixty degrees below zero
cold.
this poem was written on paper 9 august 2007.
notes to my biographer
[my sincere apologies to my boyfriend for the blatant plagiarism of the title (happy now??)]
this article is divided into three main parts, namely: basics, beauty and brains, with subdivisions. the answers represent the best-of-all-time best (especially in the “brains” area), at least in my perspective. some choices prove to be tough but i cannot list down everything that i deem admirably worthy; otherwise, this article will forever remain unfinished.
basics
birth name: layla torres bool
character names: in no particular order, and not limited to
• purple payne (my favorite) in jai lanting’s young souls
• laney in jai lanting’s r-rated syzygy
• claire in revenge, a play directed by grace perdiguerra and donna christine banuelos, authored by one of their students
• lara in harm, a short film without a script and directed by jai lanting
• jennifer love hewitt, presenter in the video music awards, a project by the mass communication students of the university of batangas (over-the-top funny, we had our own angelina jolie, mary kate and ashley olsen, usher, ben affleck, gwen stefani, evanescence, simple plan – it was a question of who’s the most ambitious)
• lena, in a one-act play written in filipino (can’t remember the title anymore, this was in 1996) launched by the creative arts and speech training students
birthday: 21 october 1984, hence a libra, born year of the rat
height: no taller than 5’3, which explains the high heels
weight: as of this writing, 92 lbs
citizenship: filipino born, french at heart
preferences
food: pizza, pasta, potatoes, tuna and cheese
fruit: wild strawberries. :)
ice cream flavor: very rocky road
cakes and pastries: conti's mango bravo
drink: i realize nothing’s healthier than water, so i now shy away even from green teas and juices
cocktail: frozen margarita
beer: colt 45
bar: temple in greenbelt 3.made some friends there.
songwriter: jewel kilcher
church wedding song: here, there and everywhere
dance: flamenco
mode of travel: the sea, please, if possible
beach: i am yet to experience boracay. batangas (matabungkay, san juan, and calatagan are the prime spots) will do for now. i love my province.
destination dream: france, where else? runners-up: niagara falls, iceland, reichenbach falls, burj-al arab
my weakness in men: wit, candor and remarkable intelligence.
beauty
skincare: i swear by philosophy. from facial cleansers and moisturizers to shower gels and conditioners and hand creams.
make-up: again, philosophy. i'm deadly afraid of breakouts, and mineral make-up is my holy grail. (the only exception is smashbox's intuitive o-glow as my choice of cheek tint) visit any beauty bar outlets and prepare your credit card.
clothing and apparel: quite a broad range – terranova, mango, zara, freeway, petit monde, topshop and ukay-ukay in baguio city
my fashion achilles heel: belts
my charm: my smile
fragrance: kenzo
salon: i cut my own hair
fashion magazine: mega
shoes: CMG, celine
bags: i love them oversized
workout: bellydance videos and carmen electra’s aerobic striptease
model: alessandra ambrosio is my goddess!
brains
* (i am currently reading fyodor mikhailovich dostoevsky’s crime and punishment)
mythology: norse
fairy tale: lewis carroll’s alice’s adventures in wonderland and j.m. barrie’s peter pan
narrative poetry: the wife of bath’s tale, from geoffrey chaucer’s the canterbury tales
lyric poetry: edgar allan poe's annabel lee tops the list.
elegy: thomas gray's elegy written in a country churchyard.
ode: john keats's ode on a grecian urn
short story: rabindranath tagore’s the judge (i composed a sequel)
essay: michel de montaigne’s apology for raymond sebond
play: henrik ibsen's a doll house
novels -- categorized by theme. see below:
allegory: antoine de saint exupery’s le petit prince. open to debate. many people classify the little prince as fantasy, but it deserves more credit owing to its philosophical inputs. pardon my blasphemy when i say this book equals the bible.
tragedy: gabriel garcia marquez’s one hundred years of solitude. one word – apocalyptic.
mystery: sir arthur conan doyle, agatha christie and erle stanley gardener – creators of sherlock holmes, hercule poirot and perry mason, respectively.
romance: emily bronte’s the wuthering heights. dark and poignant.
political: george orwell's nineteen eighty-four
controversial: vladimir nabokov’s lolita
movie: it’s a tie between lars von trier’s dogville and ingmar bergman’s the seventh seal. sure, the matrix is good, but these two films show you what can be achieved by relying on actors’ touchstone performances and a mind-blowing script without any need for smoke and car chase and any of those blockbuster special effects. citizen kane is a masterpiece, agreed, but there are films that you appreciate for their cinematic appeal and there are some which walk over your shadow and grab and squeeze your heart then drain you of your blood. that’s the torture of watching dogville and the seventh seal. and afterwards, you still want to watch.
animation: pixar animation studio’s cars, narrowly beating monsters inc.how the academy awards people thought happy feet has a more significant message and/or is more creatively crafted is beyond me. what poor taste.
columnist: conrado de quiros
philosophy: everybody talks of existentialism, so i wouldn’t join the group anymore. (i still like the idea, it’s just becoming increasingly popular) i prefer metaphysics.
painting: jan van eyck’s portrait of giovanni arnolfini and his wife, also known as the arnolfini couple
sculpture: laocoon and his sons
my natural talent: i am an effortless speaker.
my compositions: mostly essays, some poetry
my pseudonym: pennylane
and, my autobiography: i don’t want to live twice. copyright pending.
this article was written on paper 3 august 2007.
this article is divided into three main parts, namely: basics, beauty and brains, with subdivisions. the answers represent the best-of-all-time best (especially in the “brains” area), at least in my perspective. some choices prove to be tough but i cannot list down everything that i deem admirably worthy; otherwise, this article will forever remain unfinished.
basics
birth name: layla torres bool
character names: in no particular order, and not limited to
• purple payne (my favorite) in jai lanting’s young souls
• laney in jai lanting’s r-rated syzygy
• claire in revenge, a play directed by grace perdiguerra and donna christine banuelos, authored by one of their students
• lara in harm, a short film without a script and directed by jai lanting
• jennifer love hewitt, presenter in the video music awards, a project by the mass communication students of the university of batangas (over-the-top funny, we had our own angelina jolie, mary kate and ashley olsen, usher, ben affleck, gwen stefani, evanescence, simple plan – it was a question of who’s the most ambitious)
• lena, in a one-act play written in filipino (can’t remember the title anymore, this was in 1996) launched by the creative arts and speech training students
birthday: 21 october 1984, hence a libra, born year of the rat
height: no taller than 5’3, which explains the high heels
weight: as of this writing, 92 lbs
citizenship: filipino born, french at heart
preferences
food: pizza, pasta, potatoes, tuna and cheese
fruit: wild strawberries. :)
ice cream flavor: very rocky road
cakes and pastries: conti's mango bravo
drink: i realize nothing’s healthier than water, so i now shy away even from green teas and juices
cocktail: frozen margarita
beer: colt 45
bar: temple in greenbelt 3.made some friends there.
songwriter: jewel kilcher
church wedding song: here, there and everywhere
dance: flamenco
mode of travel: the sea, please, if possible
beach: i am yet to experience boracay. batangas (matabungkay, san juan, and calatagan are the prime spots) will do for now. i love my province.
destination dream: france, where else? runners-up: niagara falls, iceland, reichenbach falls, burj-al arab
my weakness in men: wit, candor and remarkable intelligence.
beauty
skincare: i swear by philosophy. from facial cleansers and moisturizers to shower gels and conditioners and hand creams.
make-up: again, philosophy. i'm deadly afraid of breakouts, and mineral make-up is my holy grail. (the only exception is smashbox's intuitive o-glow as my choice of cheek tint) visit any beauty bar outlets and prepare your credit card.
clothing and apparel: quite a broad range – terranova, mango, zara, freeway, petit monde, topshop and ukay-ukay in baguio city
my fashion achilles heel: belts
my charm: my smile
fragrance: kenzo
salon: i cut my own hair
fashion magazine: mega
shoes: CMG, celine
bags: i love them oversized
workout: bellydance videos and carmen electra’s aerobic striptease
model: alessandra ambrosio is my goddess!
brains
* (i am currently reading fyodor mikhailovich dostoevsky’s crime and punishment)
mythology: norse
fairy tale: lewis carroll’s alice’s adventures in wonderland and j.m. barrie’s peter pan
narrative poetry: the wife of bath’s tale, from geoffrey chaucer’s the canterbury tales
lyric poetry: edgar allan poe's annabel lee tops the list.
elegy: thomas gray's elegy written in a country churchyard.
ode: john keats's ode on a grecian urn
short story: rabindranath tagore’s the judge (i composed a sequel)
essay: michel de montaigne’s apology for raymond sebond
play: henrik ibsen's a doll house
novels -- categorized by theme. see below:
allegory: antoine de saint exupery’s le petit prince. open to debate. many people classify the little prince as fantasy, but it deserves more credit owing to its philosophical inputs. pardon my blasphemy when i say this book equals the bible.
tragedy: gabriel garcia marquez’s one hundred years of solitude. one word – apocalyptic.
mystery: sir arthur conan doyle, agatha christie and erle stanley gardener – creators of sherlock holmes, hercule poirot and perry mason, respectively.
romance: emily bronte’s the wuthering heights. dark and poignant.
political: george orwell's nineteen eighty-four
controversial: vladimir nabokov’s lolita
movie: it’s a tie between lars von trier’s dogville and ingmar bergman’s the seventh seal. sure, the matrix is good, but these two films show you what can be achieved by relying on actors’ touchstone performances and a mind-blowing script without any need for smoke and car chase and any of those blockbuster special effects. citizen kane is a masterpiece, agreed, but there are films that you appreciate for their cinematic appeal and there are some which walk over your shadow and grab and squeeze your heart then drain you of your blood. that’s the torture of watching dogville and the seventh seal. and afterwards, you still want to watch.
animation: pixar animation studio’s cars, narrowly beating monsters inc.how the academy awards people thought happy feet has a more significant message and/or is more creatively crafted is beyond me. what poor taste.
columnist: conrado de quiros
philosophy: everybody talks of existentialism, so i wouldn’t join the group anymore. (i still like the idea, it’s just becoming increasingly popular) i prefer metaphysics.
painting: jan van eyck’s portrait of giovanni arnolfini and his wife, also known as the arnolfini couple
sculpture: laocoon and his sons
my natural talent: i am an effortless speaker.
my compositions: mostly essays, some poetry
my pseudonym: pennylane
and, my autobiography: i don’t want to live twice. copyright pending.
this article was written on paper 3 august 2007.
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